i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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