Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
