Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
