Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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