R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
