How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
