sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My bed is full of blood and feathers
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
