I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
