At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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