I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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