At least make sure they are 18
Why
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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