But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
