Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
