yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Randomize
