Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
