Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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