shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
