if you like me you must not know who I am
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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