Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
