I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
i black out too much to be "responsible"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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