While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
