3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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