Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
