Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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