why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
