I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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