I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
