He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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