i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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