my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
