ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
