You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
