So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
