Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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