either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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