my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
