and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
