exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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