lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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