i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
