omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
