I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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