should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
