no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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