The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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