OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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