u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
