I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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