If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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