How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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